Emotions have been an overly sensitive topic. We have been socialised to classify emotions as ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ or ‘good’ and ‘bad’ and actively suppress negative and bad ones. More so, in several cultures expressing emotions is seen as a sign of weakness and as something which is anti ‘Masculinity’. We hear and use phrases such as ‘Men don’t cry’; ‘Strong women endure pain with a smile’; that they almost feel true and are usually a parameter on which we judge others and ourselves.
Since childhood we are rejected, dismissed, or reprimanded for expressing certain emotions. So much so that we learn that these emotions are not okay, and we should suppress them if we want to loved or perceived in a certain way. But, when we suppress our negative emotions, we end up suppressing our natural instincts as human beings and this has an adverse impact on our physiology, behaviour, and our overall personality.
Suppressed emotions
Suppressed emotions persist. Just because we don’t express them does not mean that they do not exist or simply fade away. They get stored in our body and become a part of our belief system. Suppressed Emotions commonly manifest themselves in the form of body aches, digestive issues, disturbed appetite, and sleep along other issues. Also, known as psycho-somatic pains and diseases.
Subconsciously, these suppressed emotions influence our belief system which hold parameters on which we judge ourselves, others around us and the world as a whole. When triggered time and again, they turn into dysfunctional defence mechanisms which breed unhealthy coping strategies and/or self-sabotaging behaviours.
Understanding, acknowledging and expression our emotions is thus important to lead a fulfilling and healthy life.
Here are quick but extremely effective steps to tackle emotions
- Noticing our emotions
Asking ourselves questions like ‘What am I feeling?’; ‘Can I name this feeling(s)?’; ‘Where in my body do, I feel this feeling?’ help us to paying attention to our feelings and exploring them further.
- Removing Resistance
When we allow ourselves to feel emotions by saying ‘I am allowed to feel this way, I am gearing up for whatever is in store’, we release the pent up emotions, liberating ourselves from the task of having to suppress emotions.
- Removing Judgement
Constantly reminding ourselves that ‘No Emotion is good or bad and there is no right or wrong way to feel’. All emotions serve a purpose and adopting a non-judgemental approach towards them makes us comfortable with being emotional.
- Choosing an Action
Responding to emotions in adaptive manner is of paramount importance. Asking ourselves ‘Is there a safe way to address and/or share these feelings?’; ‘Do I need to talk, cry, vent, engage physically?’, helps us to channel our emotions adequately and appropriately.
- Tracking back
Examining ‘What caused me to feel this way?’; ‘When was the last time I felt this way?’; ‘How did I deal with this feeling the last time?’; ‘Is there any pattern that I can see?’, helps us understand the situations that we find ourselves in, that trigger intense emotions and further ascertain ways to tackle such situations in the future.
- Seeking Professional Help: Both Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and Cognitive Hypnotic Psychotherapy have proved beneficial in helping individuals overcome psycho-somatic pains, emotional distress, addictive behaviours, self-sabotaging behaviour and lead an emotionally fulfilling life.
